Birthday: Bloggified!

Does everyone know what today is?! Not only is it the 69th day of the year (true story!) and the 32nd anniversary of the day astronomers discovered rings around Uranus (also true - there's a lot of cool shit about March 10th!!!) but is also the 30th anniversary of the day The Militia was expulsed from her mother's uterus! That's right, folks - please join me in wishing a fan-fucking-tastic 30th birthday upon my homie, my partner-in-crime, co-author of The Bung Blog: THE MILITIA!

This chica and I go waaaaaay back! I'm talking back to when our age was displayed in single digits, back when Reagan was the prez, and back before internetting (even DIAL UP!!!). 1986 was the year, and had it not been for a horrific wardrobe malfunction (a theme in our lives) in Mrs. Cooper's 2nd grade class, we just might not be where we are today. What would the world be like without Ash-Hole & The Militia?? Well, there would certainly be fewer water gun drive-by's, The Bung Blog would not exist (nor would the OBB - Original Bung Book), and the 7th sense would be completely unknown to all.

What have we been through in our near-23 years of BEST friendship? What HAVEN'T we been through?! From jumping on trampolines together and playing with our imaginary friend "Jade" who lived in the drain of my parents' pool, to driving across the country together and being in each others' weddings, we've been through it all. We've been roommates, we've been houligans, we've been hungover (duh), we've been considered straight up insane by most, we've been drunk, we've been in fights, we've nearly been arrested, we've been kicked out of public places, we've been each other's life lines. The Militia has always been here for me - she pushed me on the tire swing, she shared my first beer and first cigarette with me (both of which we stole from her step-dad), she let me cry on her shoulder during my first broken heart, she's held my hair while I puked on MANY occasions, she helped me move across the country when my relationship fell apart, she gave me a place to live when I had no where else to go, she stood up with me at my wedding, she STILL lets me call her to cry when things aren't going well, and she will always ALWAYS be my asexual vanilla!

So here's to all the horrible karoke we've sung, all the dancing on bars we've done, and to what is known as BUNG! May the next decade of your life be as bad assed as the first 3!

HAPPY 30th HOLMES!!! I LOVE YER ASS!!!

Photo Album Friday!

Welcome to Photo Album Friday! This week we will be featuring photos from my 30th birthday party. The theme: debauchery! Enjoy!

There you have it, folks. Lots of bolligerance, debauchery, shots, jager bombs, 7th's, crazy poses, drinking, craziness, insanity, followed by more drinking, craziness, and insanity. Words just don't describe....but the pics sure do.

Until we bung again!

Real Life LOLs!

You can all thank The Militia for what we have in store for you - Real Life LOLs!!!

Coming soon, to a blog near you!

Today, I invite you to share this LOL with your peers: LOLlypop Guild. The next time you crack up, make sure to use this phrase in a sentance (whether via text, instant message, email, or even through good ol' fashion SPEECH!). If you LOL today, make sure you LOLlypop Guild with your bad self! Get out there, bloggies, and make use of your 7ths and LOLlypop Guild your asses off!

Tell All Tuesday!

So by now you all know that I turned the Dirty Thirty last week. In this week's edition of Tell All Tuesday, I would now like to share with you some of the highlights of the weekend (minus the drama - AKA totalled car, $200 tab, unnecessary fight):

"You'll always be my sexual chocolate....I mean, asexual vanilla."

"This lipgloss kinda burns. It's like it hurts but feels good at the same time."
"Oh, you mean like anal sex?"

"Ash, can you move the pitcher from the corner of the table."
"Bobby, can you please move your gay ass from the corner of the table."

"I'll take the meat lovers."
"Will that be bone IN?"

"Are these made of glass? Or plastic?"
"It's glastic."

"I like your matching sweater & beanie....do you shop at Baby Gap?"

"All this music totally reminds me of..." "8th grade!! I know!!" "I was going to say my senior year......"

"I love how there was a life sized old man that said 'please do not touch' and you automatically walked in the door and reached out to touch it." <--Actually, I went to shake his hand.

"oh... oh no... this is bad..." from inside the bathroom stall. (Bloody nose fiasco)

We couldn't stay inside the restaurant without cackling, so we sat outside in the foyer and I read Melissa a child's story... WHILE people were walking in and out!

I went ahead and fixed my own drink when our bartender was MIA.

Came home with a giant bag full of fance dinner napkins from the bar....found out later that our waitress gave that to us in case anyone needed to puke on the drive home.

Srsly....good times!

Actual photos coming soon!!!

Featured Follower Friday!

Welcome to Featured Follower Friday!!!

What IS Featured Follower Friday, you may be asking. Well, it the day that we like to take some time out to salute one of our FAVORITE followers of The Bung Blog! And today, in our very first segment of Featured Follower Friday, we would like to give a HUUUUGE shout out to our girl

Jess!!!!

Jess was one of our first followers of The Bung Blog and THE first person to leave a comment on our blog (other than us, of course). We appreciate Jess's wet & sloppy 7th & her continued support of BUNG. We think Jess is pretty efin cool, so we invite you all to get to know Jess. Sooooo, here's the 411 on Jess to help you get started:

Jess hails from Midlothia, VA where she has lived since she was 5. She currently resides in Harrisonburg where she is attends school at JMU. Jess plans to graduate next year and hopefully begin a career in photography. You view some of her photography at her blog: AllThingsCreative .

Jessica likes The Bung Blog because: "It's so original!! It's my sense of humor, and it makes me laugh every day. Who wouldn't want to have their day brightened on a regular basis?! haha. I just love the creativity and originality. It's not some blog dedicated to ranting about your life."

We took a few moments to ask Jess some PROBING questions. Here are her answers:

1) Underwear - in the crack, covering the crack, or commando? All three are nice, but since I work out a lot I'd have to say covering. But you've gotta have 'dem thongs read for those white pants!

2) Heels or flats? Flats, I'm 5'9" so when I wear heels I'm at 6 feet tall. I have a lot of short friends, so this doesn't go over well. I do wear heels occasionally though, to look nice. :)

3) If one syncronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown? Hahaha no, they don't all have to drown.

4) What are you most afraid of? I'm afraid of not finding work next year when I graduate!!!

5) What's your most humiliating moment? O boy...my most humiliating moment...luckily I haven't had anything too bad happen...but probably during a moment of "never have I ever" in a game of Kings where a very intimate personal question was asked as far a sexual positions go...and I had to put my finger down and everyone noticed!! hahaha

6) Name one thing you worry about running out of? I fear running out of batteries for my camera when I'm shooting something really important. Haha.

7) What famous person do you think you resemble? I've been told I look like Helen Hunt and Phoebe from FRIENDS. Oh, and the blonde girl from Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. And on more than once occasion, I've gotten Anna Kournikova, thank you very much!!

8) What song do you hate the most? Oh lord, any song that's been played 2654325654345 times on the radio!! For example: Rihanna's "Umbrella," Hoobastank's "The Reason," (those two specifically because over two summers I worked at places where we HAD to listen to the radio so it drove me crazy).

9) What are your super powers? If I go to have super powers, I'd want to be able to fly.

10) What's the last furry thing you touched? Hmm, my pet chihuahuas, Max and Mitzie.

11) What's your nickname? Jess/Jessy/JD/J40D (that one's from my dad, mixing my initials with my camer's "initials," my Canon 40D).

12) Weird habits? Um, I pick at the skin around my nails...it's a horrible subconscious habit I have that I inherited from my mom...I do it a lot when I'm stressed or during a scary movie. It sucks.

13) If you could hook up with one celeb, who would it be? Hmm, either David Beckham or...yeah, probably David Beckham.

14) How many times do you pee a day? Haha depends on the amount of water I drink! Maybe 5 times, more or less?

15) If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Probably pizza. God that stuff's good! And there's so many different kinds!

16) Who is hte coolest person you know and why? The coolest person I know is my dad. He is always there to support me, comfort me, say things that make me happy. :)

17) Have you ever laughed so hard you peed your pants? Almost!! I've laughed so hard I've cried on multiple occasions! I also (weird) tend to cough a lot after a really hard laugh.

18) What would be your "stage name" ? Either J Shea, or Shea (my middle name).

19) What are your sweet moves? Haha my sweet moves...on the soccer field or off? Haha

20) Wild card - tell us something we haven't asked! I like things most people don't, and don't like thingss most people do. For example, I LOVE black licorice jelly beans, but hate watermelon and jell-o.

There you have it, folks - the 411 on our girl Jess! A huge bungalicious thanks to Jess for being one of our favorite fan-bunging-tastic followers! And don't forget to check her out at AllThingsCreative!

Birthday Shout Out!

We, at The Bung Blog, would like to take time out of our busy lives to wish a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to this crazy bitch right here:

Miss CHELSEA HANDLER!!!

We consider her our pisces sister. Like us, she has a bad ass 7th and we pretty much think she's the funniest bitch alive.

I have personally been following Chelsea since back in the day when she was on Girls Behaving Badly:

I own & cherish both of her critically acclaimed books:

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands and Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea


The title of My Horizontal Life says it all. This book chronicals the insane sexcapades of young, single woman who dabbles in ecstacy, anal beads, and sleeping with midgets. Basically your standard bedroom romps of your 20's.

Are You There Vodka walks you through the typical belligerance and debauchery of the typical American woman. And if these stories aren't typical for you, well....I guess you're just not as cool as we are.

These days, you can find Chelsea on Chelsea Lately on the E! Network weeknights at 11:00pm (10:00 central).

If you don't adore Chelsea as much as we do, then I'm afraid we can no longer be bloggie friends.

Oh, and my favorite little nugget would like to wish Chelsea a happy birthday as well:

Once again, HAPPY EFIN BIRTHDAY, CHELSEA!!! We love your crazy ass!

Until we bung again, folks!

~Ash-Hole & The Militia~

Thirsty Thursday: Jager Bombs

It's Thirsty Thursday, bitches!

Now, you may be asking yourself "WTF is Thirsty Thursday??" Well, my friends, Thirsty Thursday is the day we salute our favorite (adult) beverages, for without (adult) beverages, our lives just would not be the same. Literally. We would not have near the amount of funny stories (or regrets), hangovers, sexcapades, or hilarity in our lives. Now, I'm not saying we condone excessive drinking, cuz we don't.......

WE STRAIGHT UP RECOMMEND IT!

Now, in all fairness, booze is not a requirement to have a great 7th (if you are unaware of what a 7th is, please see blogs labeled 7th Sense). I like to think that my bestie and I have such bad.ass. 7ths that we could kick booze today and still be 2 of the funniest bitches I know (and NO, that's not because I don't know that many people). However, booze can really heighten one's 7th. But now I'm getting totally off track....cuz I'm saluting booze altogether when I really just want to be saluting one specific drink.

So now, I would like to introduce you to this week's Thirsty Thursday Featured Beverage:

JAGER BOMBS!!

Jager bombs! Fuckin Jager bombs! We fuckin shower in that shit!

And now, for your viewing pleasure, a video honoring the ONE AND ONLY:

JAGER BOMBS!!

The 5 Senses.....Plus 2 More

So, we all know of the 5 senses:

1 - Sight
2 - Sound
3 - Smell
4 - Taste
5 - Touch

But the general public has over looked the 2 most important senses:

6 - Common
7 - Humor

Common sense is pretty much vital for having a sense of humor. And a sense of humor is just vital in life, period. I can't imagine what life would be like without having a 7th. My bestie & I have pretty bad ass 7ths. Oh yeah, and as previously mentioned, our 7ths are wet & sloppy. That is all.