The Dirty Thirty

Please allow me a moment to blogify about a person who has had my back (quite literally) for 23 years. She first had my back in 2nd grade on Halloween when she was the only person to tell me that my homemade poodle skirt made of felt was tucked severely into my underwear while standing at the chalkboard in front of the classroom. She had my back in high school cheerleading when she dove to catch me from a 12-foot-high stunt gone wrong. She made sure to sit me down and explain to my broken heart that my 3-year-long high school crush was indeed, fucking ugly. She's told to me to quit hanging out the window talking shit when bike cops pulled her over while she was attempting to drive my drunk ass home from the bar. She's held my hair back while I puked, she makes me laugh until I pee my pants, and every time I open my Facebook page, there's always a fresh "poke" waiting for me from her.

It's not a simple feat to still be besties with your childhood friend after 23 years, and through everything, I wouldn't trade mine for 400 pounds of pudding, or any other really important thing that you could barter with.

Happy 30th Birthday to my bestie, co-founder of The Original Bung Book, The Hunger Speech, and The Bung Blog.

You'll always be "Jeans and Shirt Ashley" to me.

Now, for your viewing pleasure - a very small sampling of our journey together... so far.