Real Life LOLs!

You can all thank The Militia for what we have in store for you - Real Life LOLs!!!

Coming soon, to a blog near you!

Today, I invite you to share this LOL with your peers: LOLlypop Guild. The next time you crack up, make sure to use this phrase in a sentance (whether via text, instant message, email, or even through good ol' fashion SPEECH!). If you LOL today, make sure you LOLlypop Guild with your bad self! Get out there, bloggies, and make use of your 7ths and LOLlypop Guild your asses off!

Tell All Tuesday!

So by now you all know that I turned the Dirty Thirty last week. In this week's edition of Tell All Tuesday, I would now like to share with you some of the highlights of the weekend (minus the drama - AKA totalled car, $200 tab, unnecessary fight):

"You'll always be my sexual chocolate....I mean, asexual vanilla."

"This lipgloss kinda burns. It's like it hurts but feels good at the same time."
"Oh, you mean like anal sex?"

"Ash, can you move the pitcher from the corner of the table."
"Bobby, can you please move your gay ass from the corner of the table."

"I'll take the meat lovers."
"Will that be bone IN?"

"Are these made of glass? Or plastic?"
"It's glastic."

"I like your matching sweater & beanie....do you shop at Baby Gap?"

"All this music totally reminds me of..." "8th grade!! I know!!" "I was going to say my senior year......"

"I love how there was a life sized old man that said 'please do not touch' and you automatically walked in the door and reached out to touch it." <--Actually, I went to shake his hand.

"oh... oh no... this is bad..." from inside the bathroom stall. (Bloody nose fiasco)

We couldn't stay inside the restaurant without cackling, so we sat outside in the foyer and I read Melissa a child's story... WHILE people were walking in and out!

I went ahead and fixed my own drink when our bartender was MIA.

Came home with a giant bag full of fance dinner napkins from the bar....found out later that our waitress gave that to us in case anyone needed to puke on the drive home.

Srsly....good times!

Actual photos coming soon!!!

Featured Follower Friday!

Welcome to Featured Follower Friday!!!

What IS Featured Follower Friday, you may be asking. Well, it the day that we like to take some time out to salute one of our FAVORITE followers of The Bung Blog! And today, in our very first segment of Featured Follower Friday, we would like to give a HUUUUGE shout out to our girl

Jess!!!!

Jess was one of our first followers of The Bung Blog and THE first person to leave a comment on our blog (other than us, of course). We appreciate Jess's wet & sloppy 7th & her continued support of BUNG. We think Jess is pretty efin cool, so we invite you all to get to know Jess. Sooooo, here's the 411 on Jess to help you get started:

Jess hails from Midlothia, VA where she has lived since she was 5. She currently resides in Harrisonburg where she is attends school at JMU. Jess plans to graduate next year and hopefully begin a career in photography. You view some of her photography at her blog: AllThingsCreative .

Jessica likes The Bung Blog because: "It's so original!! It's my sense of humor, and it makes me laugh every day. Who wouldn't want to have their day brightened on a regular basis?! haha. I just love the creativity and originality. It's not some blog dedicated to ranting about your life."

We took a few moments to ask Jess some PROBING questions. Here are her answers:

1) Underwear - in the crack, covering the crack, or commando? All three are nice, but since I work out a lot I'd have to say covering. But you've gotta have 'dem thongs read for those white pants!

2) Heels or flats? Flats, I'm 5'9" so when I wear heels I'm at 6 feet tall. I have a lot of short friends, so this doesn't go over well. I do wear heels occasionally though, to look nice. :)

3) If one syncronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown? Hahaha no, they don't all have to drown.

4) What are you most afraid of? I'm afraid of not finding work next year when I graduate!!!

5) What's your most humiliating moment? O boy...my most humiliating moment...luckily I haven't had anything too bad happen...but probably during a moment of "never have I ever" in a game of Kings where a very intimate personal question was asked as far a sexual positions go...and I had to put my finger down and everyone noticed!! hahaha

6) Name one thing you worry about running out of? I fear running out of batteries for my camera when I'm shooting something really important. Haha.

7) What famous person do you think you resemble? I've been told I look like Helen Hunt and Phoebe from FRIENDS. Oh, and the blonde girl from Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. And on more than once occasion, I've gotten Anna Kournikova, thank you very much!!

8) What song do you hate the most? Oh lord, any song that's been played 2654325654345 times on the radio!! For example: Rihanna's "Umbrella," Hoobastank's "The Reason," (those two specifically because over two summers I worked at places where we HAD to listen to the radio so it drove me crazy).

9) What are your super powers? If I go to have super powers, I'd want to be able to fly.

10) What's the last furry thing you touched? Hmm, my pet chihuahuas, Max and Mitzie.

11) What's your nickname? Jess/Jessy/JD/J40D (that one's from my dad, mixing my initials with my camer's "initials," my Canon 40D).

12) Weird habits? Um, I pick at the skin around my nails...it's a horrible subconscious habit I have that I inherited from my mom...I do it a lot when I'm stressed or during a scary movie. It sucks.

13) If you could hook up with one celeb, who would it be? Hmm, either David Beckham or...yeah, probably David Beckham.

14) How many times do you pee a day? Haha depends on the amount of water I drink! Maybe 5 times, more or less?

15) If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Probably pizza. God that stuff's good! And there's so many different kinds!

16) Who is hte coolest person you know and why? The coolest person I know is my dad. He is always there to support me, comfort me, say things that make me happy. :)

17) Have you ever laughed so hard you peed your pants? Almost!! I've laughed so hard I've cried on multiple occasions! I also (weird) tend to cough a lot after a really hard laugh.

18) What would be your "stage name" ? Either J Shea, or Shea (my middle name).

19) What are your sweet moves? Haha my sweet moves...on the soccer field or off? Haha

20) Wild card - tell us something we haven't asked! I like things most people don't, and don't like thingss most people do. For example, I LOVE black licorice jelly beans, but hate watermelon and jell-o.

There you have it, folks - the 411 on our girl Jess! A huge bungalicious thanks to Jess for being one of our favorite fan-bunging-tastic followers! And don't forget to check her out at AllThingsCreative!

The Dirty Thirty

Please allow me a moment to blogify about a person who has had my back (quite literally) for 23 years. She first had my back in 2nd grade on Halloween when she was the only person to tell me that my homemade poodle skirt made of felt was tucked severely into my underwear while standing at the chalkboard in front of the classroom. She had my back in high school cheerleading when she dove to catch me from a 12-foot-high stunt gone wrong. She made sure to sit me down and explain to my broken heart that my 3-year-long high school crush was indeed, fucking ugly. She's told to me to quit hanging out the window talking shit when bike cops pulled her over while she was attempting to drive my drunk ass home from the bar. She's held my hair back while I puked, she makes me laugh until I pee my pants, and every time I open my Facebook page, there's always a fresh "poke" waiting for me from her.

It's not a simple feat to still be besties with your childhood friend after 23 years, and through everything, I wouldn't trade mine for 400 pounds of pudding, or any other really important thing that you could barter with.

Happy 30th Birthday to my bestie, co-founder of The Original Bung Book, The Hunger Speech, and The Bung Blog.

You'll always be "Jeans and Shirt Ashley" to me.

Now, for your viewing pleasure - a very small sampling of our journey together... so far.

Thugged Out Thursday

Look, I'm an almost middle-aged white chick from the Midwest - please believe that I am NOT the authority on living the thug life. I mean, I don't get how letting your ass hang out of your community-sized pants is considered thuggish, while assless leather chaps are considered gay. To my knowledge, I have never had a "beef" with anyone unless I was sharing a Hardee's Thickburger with them. And what's with the East Coast-West Coast rap war thingie... Listen, you both have beaches and I'm stuck in the middle with a muddy lake. Go sit in your respective corners of the country and shut the fuck up.

I do, however, love me some old-school rap.

I have worn a dew rag while committing a drive-by with a
SuperSoaker 2000 in a 1920's era Chevy Cavalier.

And I did rock a sweet metal grill pretty much all through high school.

Face it - Regardless of what hood you grew up in,

jus' about ERR-body wants ta be THUGGED OUT.

This week's case in point:

Gollum, from Lord of the Rings.

He be rockin' dat ice, my precious bitches.

UnBUNG Hero - Black History Month Part II: Snoop Dogg

It brings me great (b)un(g)dying pleasure to introduce you to another Black History Month Edition of UnBUNG Heros. With so much drama in the B.L.O.G., it's kinda hard bein'

SNOOP D-O-DOUBLE-G

But I, somehow someway keep comin' up with funky ass blogs nearly every single day....

We first became fans of this OG circa 1993 with the release of the album Doggystyle. This is still one of my all time favorite albums to this very day. This was such an influential album on our lives. This was back in the day when we had the jack off hour with DJ Eeeeeeeeeeeazy Dick. This was when "Everybody's got to hear the shit on W Ballz! W Ballz! W Ballz!!!!!!!" This is when Snoop taught us how to be mutha fuckin hustlas, ya bettah ax somebody!

With tracks like Gin & Juice, Tha Shiznit, Lodi Dodi, What's My Name, and For All My Niggaz And Bitches (wave your mutha fuckin hands in the air....cuz if you don't give a fuck, then we don't give a fuck, so wave your mutha fuckin hands in the aaaaaaair!) we were fully prepared to thug out on the town. It was a Doggy Dogg World and we were just livin' in it. And back in our water gun drive-by days, you could always find us listening to Gz And Hustlas and of course, Pump Pump!!!

Snoop was our UnBUNG Hero long before his E! Show FatherHood came out. He was our UnBUNG Hero long before he partnered with Justin Timberlake, Pharrell, or Charlie Wilson. Snoop was our UnBUNG hero back when he was working with Dre. Snoop touched our bungy hearts long ago and continues to awe us to this very day.

So now, I gladly introduce you to our featured UnBUNG Hero:

SNOOP DOGG!!!

**This text color denotes Snoop song titles, lyrics, and album titles.**

Birthday Shout Out!

We, at The Bung Blog, would like to take time out of our busy lives to wish a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to this crazy bitch right here:

Miss CHELSEA HANDLER!!!

We consider her our pisces sister. Like us, she has a bad ass 7th and we pretty much think she's the funniest bitch alive.

I have personally been following Chelsea since back in the day when she was on Girls Behaving Badly:

I own & cherish both of her critically acclaimed books:

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands and Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea


The title of My Horizontal Life says it all. This book chronicals the insane sexcapades of young, single woman who dabbles in ecstacy, anal beads, and sleeping with midgets. Basically your standard bedroom romps of your 20's.

Are You There Vodka walks you through the typical belligerance and debauchery of the typical American woman. And if these stories aren't typical for you, well....I guess you're just not as cool as we are.

These days, you can find Chelsea on Chelsea Lately on the E! Network weeknights at 11:00pm (10:00 central).

If you don't adore Chelsea as much as we do, then I'm afraid we can no longer be bloggie friends.

Oh, and my favorite little nugget would like to wish Chelsea a happy birthday as well:

Once again, HAPPY EFIN BIRTHDAY, CHELSEA!!! We love your crazy ass!

Until we bung again, folks!

~Ash-Hole & The Militia~

WTF Wednesday: Prank Gone Wrong

Welcome to another BUNGtastic edition of WTF Wednesday.

This week's blog features a happy birthday prank that somehow goes awry.





Way to go, ya crazy bitch. Hope your birthday was great, and I wish you many more raising your bastard child by yourself.

As always, your BUNGiness is my concern.

True Story Tuesday: The Lake Ninja

There should definitely be more true-life stories about Ninjas. My bestie and I both think so. Fortunately, we both have our own.

In this story my husband is actually the Ninja, which makes me a very proud wife.

This occurred in the wee hours of the morning, one drunken summer night at our favorite local lake. After a steady intake of Keystone Light for approximately 12 hours, my hubby and a small group of our drunken lake friends who were not yet passed out decided they needed to get something out of the boat house. When they got to the boat house, they realized that one of the drunkard's parents were in there sleeping.

"Dammit!" one drunk-ass exclaimed in a whisper that was almost louder than regular speech, "Now we can't get in there to get that shit!"

"Hey," my husband drunk-whispered back. "I GOT this! I'm jus' gonna sneak in there an' get it. I got this.... I'm a fucking ninja."

The fucking ninja then proceeded to enter the boat house with elephant-like reflexes, knocking over only a few random items which rattled to the floor, waking up the parents. Upon successful completion of the mission, he extricated himself from the boat house with the item.

"See? I told you... I'm a fucking ninja."

To all you ninjas out there... Keep on keepin' on.

Melody Monday

Melody Monday is a new segment of The Bung Blog where we will feature songs we enjoy, parody songs, videos, etc. Today, we would like to share with you a song that has truly touched our hearts. A song that we have spent countless hours singing (off-key) at bars and pubs the world over. We wanted to share this timeless classic with you as we love this song and we feel that you should too!

So now, we present to you (sung to the tune of Do-Re-Mi)

The Beer Song:

Dough - the stuff that buys my beer!

Ray - the guy that sells my beer!

Me - the guy that drinks my beer!

Far - a long, long way to the jon!

Sooooo, I'll have another beer!
La, I'll have another beer!

Tea, no thanks I'll have a beer!

Then I'll start all over again!

Catchy, isn't it? We hope that you've enjoyed this week's edition of Melody Monday. Have a great first day of the week!

Until we bung again!

Cheers!

Ninja: The Drink

This recipe comes to you courtesy of the hilarious people (or person, never met him/her) at blogadilla.com:

Shrouded in mystery, this drink comes from the exotic Japanese criminal underground - many died to discover the recipe.

The Ninja ingredients:
• 1 bottle blueberry (or grape) soda
• 2 shots Bacardi 151 Rum
• ice
• 1 highball glass
• a blender
• straw
• 1 ninja throwing star

Step 1: Blend ice, add one bottle blueberry (or grape) soda while blending.

Step 2: Add 2 shots Bacardi 151 Rum, garnish with ninja throwing star.

(Ninja. Get it? It’s strong and it sneaks up on you.)

LOL of the Week

Have you been missing the LOLs??? Perhaps you should attend a LOLcaholics Anonymous meeting.




And that, my friends, is your LOL of the week. Brought to you by The Bung Blog.

Flashback Friday!

In honor of our very first FLASHBACK FRIDAY, I have chosen to rewind to (drumroll please....):

1986!

Why, you ask? Because my bestie, my partner-in-crime, my co-Bung Blog author and met and I became friends in 1986. This was the year we started 2nd grade together in Mrs. Cooper's class. It was the year that her little brother and my little sister were born (exactly 1 month apart from each other). It was the year that a Halloween costume wardrobe mishap brought us even closer together and bound us in a life-long friendship.

So, in honor of this wonderfully amazing year, I would like to take you all back....back to the day when the top hit songs of the time included:

That's What Friends Are For - Dionne & Friends

Walk Like An Egyption - The Bangles

You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi

Greatest Love of All - Whitney Houston

Kiss - Prince

Everybody Have Fun Tonight - Wang Chung (or as we like to call them, Wang Bung!)

What Have You Done For Me Lately - Janet Jackson

Venus - Bananarama

Take My Breath Away - Berlin

Papa Don't Preach - Madonna

True Colors - Cyndi Lauper

Fashion Trends included:

Banana Clips

Crimped Hair

Baggy shirts, leggings, mini skirts, neon colors, and anything Madonna-esq.

The tv show Alf was launched:

We play Atari (not Nintendo):

And Nancy Reagan was fighting the war against drugs with her "Just Say No" campaign.

But most notably, two 2nd grade girls became

So today, in our first edition of Flashback Friday, we salute a significant year in our lives:

1986

Thirsty Thursday: Jager Bombs

It's Thirsty Thursday, bitches!

Now, you may be asking yourself "WTF is Thirsty Thursday??" Well, my friends, Thirsty Thursday is the day we salute our favorite (adult) beverages, for without (adult) beverages, our lives just would not be the same. Literally. We would not have near the amount of funny stories (or regrets), hangovers, sexcapades, or hilarity in our lives. Now, I'm not saying we condone excessive drinking, cuz we don't.......

WE STRAIGHT UP RECOMMEND IT!

Now, in all fairness, booze is not a requirement to have a great 7th (if you are unaware of what a 7th is, please see blogs labeled 7th Sense). I like to think that my bestie and I have such bad.ass. 7ths that we could kick booze today and still be 2 of the funniest bitches I know (and NO, that's not because I don't know that many people). However, booze can really heighten one's 7th. But now I'm getting totally off track....cuz I'm saluting booze altogether when I really just want to be saluting one specific drink.

So now, I would like to introduce you to this week's Thirsty Thursday Featured Beverage:

JAGER BOMBS!!

Jager bombs! Fuckin Jager bombs! We fuckin shower in that shit!

And now, for your viewing pleasure, a video honoring the ONE AND ONLY:

JAGER BOMBS!!

Life Lessons in Rap

You can learn a lot from rap music. Take away the window rattling bass and the synthesizers - I believe that rap artists rate among some of the world's greatest - yet most underestimated - poets.

Today's Life Lesson in Rap features a thought-provoking offering from Eazy E's "Nutz on ya Chin":

"I don't want a bitch if she can't rub the balls like a gypsy"

I invite you to share this profound quote with your peers, and gather their thoughts about this notion. I also urge you to use this quote in conversation sometime this weekend.

Also, if you have a worthy quote from one of our "New Millenium Shakespeares", please don't hold back - share your knowledge with the world.

Important Message from The BUNG Blog

The BUNG blog is getting more kick-ass every day. And we can't think of a better way to celebrate this fact than to bring you a weekly video featuring the man who embodies kick-assness. The man who destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. The man who can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. The man who's beard-wearing ability is seconded only by his acting ability.

Introducing:

The CHUCK NORRIS Clip of the Week
brought to you by The BUNG Blog!
Check in weekly for tips on how to stare down a bear,
or how to ruin just about any scene you may appear in!

And if you don't like it, I'll roundhouse your ass.

WTF Wednesday!

Welcome to a new edition of The Bung Blog - WTF Wednesday, where we provide you with stories, pictures, video, and/or gossip that makes us say WTF??

First off, has everyone heard about the chimp that mauled his owner's friend? This is a chimp that has been raised like a human being - he logs onto the internet, he watches tv with a remote, and drinks wine from a stemmed glass. But on Monday, something caused the chimp to go ape shit - literally, as he tore the face off his owner's friend. Investigators are unsure if the cause of the rampage was due to the chimp's lime disease, a reaction to Xanax that was given to him by his owner earlier in the day, or if it was just an animalistic instinct.

Um, HELLO, WTF are you giving your pet chimp Xanax for?!? I mean, I thought the wine was a bit extreme - but Xanax? The owner of the chimp not only saw her friend's face torn off, but she eventually stabbed her beloved pet with a butcher knife to get him off her friend, before finally calling 911 and then watching her pet be shot by police. Talk about traumatizing. Doesn't sound like the Xanax was worth all that.... For more info: http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jvlkKth37Fp__GL6KYdl2b1s6dBgD96DNV5G0

I must say, this story makes me go WTF??

Next, we would like to share this bang off pic:

If THAT doesn't make you say WTF, then I just don't know what will.

And last, but certainly not least, WTF is up with Rihanna still being in love with Chris Brown after he beat the crap out of her AND caused her to miss the Grammys?!

There you have it, folks. Thanks for tuning in to our first edition of WTF Wednesday!

True Story Tuesday: A LIVE! Exclusive - Broken Bra

*** This is a live entry - what I'm about to tell you is happening at this very moment. And lucky you - you have access to this exclusive coverage only at The BUNG Blog! ***

So, I've never been accused of having giant hooters (or really any hooters for that matter). Why this is happening to me now is beyond me, and probably most people who may know me. I'm sitting here at work, just finished having a discussion with my boss about taxes. He walks away headed for his office, and I settle back in to work - I take a swig of tea from my Big Gulp, straighten my stack of folders, and sit back in my chair while making a quick adjustment to my bra.

RRRRRRRRIPPP!

Oh. Shit. Something's obviously not right. I take a quick peeksie down the front of my shirt. At this moment, my bra is still attached thanks to only a few tiny threads in between the two boobie cups. I'm now sitting so deathly still, typing without moving from the elbow up, breathing as slow and shallow as possible, in a probably futile attempt to finish out the last two hours of my work day (at a FRONT DESK) with a bra. Customers don't appreciate free boobing.
Maybe I'll be able to sneak the stapler into the bathroom and try a quick fix. Son. Of. A. Bitch.

And THIS... is True Life Tuesday.

True Story Tuesday: Ninja Edition

Since it's been an entire week since we blogged, we thought we'd throw a couple more TRUE STORIES your way to feed your bunger. Since we're ninja and all, we'll each share a ninja story.

My story takes place the night of the infamous "knee cancer." I was at a Widespread Panic concert in June of 2006. The booze was flowing, to say the least. Our group of 4 consumed 2 bottles of rum & too many beers to count while tailgating preshow. Once inside the gates, we ran into some friends from my home town and decided to kick it with them throughout the show.

Trying to keep up with the boys, I found myself drinking at their pace, but getting much more drunk. I was nearly kicked out for using my "forbidden" camera that I snuk in. As a compromise, the security guard let me stay in exchange for confiscating my camera. The booze kept flowing and we all kept dancing. At one point, I stood on my seat so I could see better. I kept dancing tho. Not a bright idea. Next thing I know, I'm falling into the next row of people and busted my knee open (hence the "knee cancer"). By the time I stood up, there was blood all down my leg from knee to ankle. My friends begged me to go to the infirmary, but I did not want to miss the concert. Eventually, they went without me and brought back alcohol swabs and bandages. They cleaned me up and bandaged my knee, against my will. Something about having battle scars from concerts makes me feel ninja. So as soon as they were finished bandaging my wound, I notoriously ripped the bandage from my knee and exclaimed "I'm a NINJA!"

And that, my friends, is a true story.


As a brief follow-up, we had our annual lake party just days later. My knee ended up getting infected from swimming in dirty lake water. It took months to heal and left a brutal scar, which is why we refer to any injury that lasts more than a month as cancer. I realize it is not funny to joke about cancer, and karma will one day prove that to me.

True Story Tuesday: "Jeans & Shirt Ashley"

Welcome to a new segment of the Bung Blog: True Story Tuesday. Here, we will enlighten you with TRUE STORIES (duh, if the title didn't give that away, then your 6th is probably non-existant....and probably your 7th as well) about our bungy lives. And if you don't feel fully enlightened by the end, then we stand by our money-back-guarantee that "if you're not paying us shit, then we don't owe you shit, so f off."

The TRUE STORY I'm about to share is entitled Jeans & Shirt Ashley.

This story took place in the fall of 2000. Melissa and I were getting ready for a typical night out at the bar, pre-drinking at the house we lived in and enjoying SEVERAL vodka beverages - heavy on the vodka (Bartons - the college drinker's vodka of choice - hey, it's only $10 and when you consume mass amounts of booze the way we did, you were gonna be hungover anyways so you might as well get the cheap shit). We proceeded to polish off the entire bottle of vodka and a few Busch Light beers before heading out the door to the bars.

Being the college bar flies that we were, we entered our favorite night spot and proceeded to make the rounds, saying hi to all the other regulars before purchasing drinks and hitting the dance floor. A typical night included lots of flirting with the bartenders, lots of drinking, lots of dancing, lots of cig smoking, lots of drink spillage, lots of trips to the bathroom, lots of number exchanging, occasional falling down, occasional cig burns, occasional puking, rare composure, rare sobriety.

At one point in the night, I realized I hadn't seen my partner-in-crime for at least an hour. I did a brief scan of the bar to see if I could spot her. No luck. I checked the back deck. Still no luck. I finally decided to check the bathroom. I passed the line of girls waiting to pee and poked my head in and yelled "Melissa??" Immediately, a girl grabbed me shouting "Oh good! You must be Jeans & Shirt Ashley!" as she dragged me to the very last stall. Thinking to myself, wtf...Jeans & Shirt Ashley??? I looked in the last stall and there was Melissa, with her head in the toilet, cigarette still in hand, and an innocent smile on her face. "See," she said, smiling, "Jeans & Shirt Ashley."

The girls proceeded to tell me that they could hear her puking in the last stall and asked if she needed some help. Melissa apparently asked them to find her roommate, Ashley. The girls agreed to help and asked what I would be wearing, to which Melissa stated "jeans.....and a shirt." Had she not been so specific, they NEVER would have found me! :)

Perhaps it's one of those stories where you "just had to be there." But I WAS there, and let me tell you, it was pretty efin funny. To this very day, I'm still known as "Jeans & Shirt Ashley." And just to prove the point, the pic above is a pic of me from that night wearing - you guessed it - jeans & a shirt.

Yes, my friends, this is IN FACT a TRUE STORY.