Bang Off on Some Old Chicks

Watch best friends of 23 years, Ashley & Melissa, as they bung shit up on a daily. You'll laugh, you'll cry (from laughing)....but mostly, you'll just laugh. It's the feel-good blog of the year. Rated "fuckin awesome" by all of their followers (which would be just the two of them so far...), this blog is guaranteed to take bang off to a whole new level!

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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

True Story Tuesday: Real Life Wedding Crashers

It's that time of year: wedding season. It's the time of year when your weekends fill up with weddings and all the related festivities. And once all of the craziness and months (or even years) of preparation have finally concluded and all the stress from all the details and events are finally out of the way, it's time to cut loose and celebrate!
Over the past several years, my husband and I have participated in several of our friends' weddings. And through the years, we have learned a couple of very valuable lessons: A) We should not be allowed to consume alcoholic beverages at such events or 2) We simply should not be invited.

Case in point: I was a bridesmaid in my very good friend's wedding 2 years ago this very day. At the reception, after a few too many glasses of wine, I thought it would be a great idea to go ahead and catch the bouquet. And yes, I was already married at the time. Not only did I catch the bouquet, but I DOVE for the darn thing, knocking all others out of my way to ensure that the bouquet was MINE. And by "all others," I mean a 4-year-old girl that desperately wanted to be the lucky one to catch the beloved bouquet. What followed it a bit of a blur, but I believe it was something along the lines of me spiking the bouquet into the dance floor as the little girl burst into tears. Needless to say, the bride was not too impressed...nor were most of the guests. In the end, I did feel bad, and I did give the bouquet to the little girl. The picture the photographer took of the bride with the bouquet-catcher was a photo of a splotchy-faced girl who had just been crying. As an aside, I'm not quite clear about this, but it's very possible that I passed out at a dinner table at the reception.

This past weekend was no exception to the wedding craziness. Only THIS time, it was my husband that acted a fool. The first sign that he had too much to drink was when he stepped on the dance floor. Let me tell you that in all the years we have been together, not ONCE have I ever EVER seen him dance. What he proceeded to do was a cross between skipping in place and a slow-motion running man. Apparently he thought he looked good because he continued to do this move throughout the rest of the night...first with the bride, and then with several other guests and bridesmaids.

By the end of the night, the man I call my husband had managed to vomit in a center piece, eject 2 glass vases from a moving vehicle into the middle of the street in a quiet residential area, drop and shatter a third glass vase in our driveway, and urinate in the corner of our bedroom. I'm not writing this post to entertain you...but more to WARN you: unless you want to see debauchery in full effect, DO NOT INVITE US TO YOUR WEDDING!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

WTF Wednesday: Well, Hell's Bells...

Welcome to The Bung Blog's newest edition of WTF Wednesday.
This is an honest-to-goodness WTF. Let's even slow it down a bit: W. T. F.
Here's to making your mommy and daddy proud on national television...

This little gem comes to us from bangedup.com:

video

And a quick note to bangedup.com:
I could very well LOVE your site, except that I have to enter my credit card information in order to view it for "age verification purposes". Sure wish I could just say, "yeah, I'm 18" and get in. And don't I WISH I was only 18 again...