Bang Off on Some Old Chicks

Watch best friends of 23 years, Ashley & Melissa, as they bung shit up on a daily. You'll laugh, you'll cry (from laughing)....but mostly, you'll just laugh. It's the feel-good blog of the year. Rated "fuckin awesome" by all of their followers (which would be just the two of them so far...), this blog is guaranteed to take bang off to a whole new level!

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Friday, January 9, 2009

Your balls are showing...

Some people have a dry sense of humor. You will soon learn from me and my bestie in the whole effing world that our sense of humor is not dry at all - it's actually wet and sloppy.

But first, a little about me.

Ladylike? No. Crude? Yes. And now you've met me - in a nutshell. ("How did I get into this bloody nutshell?" ~ Austin Powers) Oh yeah, and now you also know that I enjoy quoting the best movies of our generation - I'm sure we'll get a full list together for you in blogs to come.

I am 29 years old, and I still think that butts (aka the tops of your legs), random word burps, and farts are hilarious. Ask my husband. I've actually gotten into a fairly gross habit of saying "yikes" while burping. Every single time I burp. Sometimes in public (on accident, of course). It started out as something funny to do, but now I don't even notice I'm doing it anymore.

But one of the funniest things to me, crudely speaking, is BALLS. That one word, whether used in the genitalia context, the golf context, the Wal-Mart toy aisle context, or just all by itself as a sentence, can reduce me to tears of gut-splitting laughter... and sometimes it makes me feel like I have a piece of hair in my mouth... But I'm getting off subject here. Moral of the story? The word is damn funny. My weirdocity right now is randomly telling people that their balls are showing. Gender doesn't matter, really... Neither does age or species for that matter. If there's an awkward silence, if I need a snappy comeback, if I can't think of anything to put for my Facebook status, and especially if my female cat is acting like a cracked-out jackass... It's honestly the first thing that comes to mind. It just falls out of my brain, and apparently my brain has horrible hand-eye coordination and can't catch it before it falls out of my mouth...

In fact, when I sat down to a blank blogging screen, on my maiden voyage into blogdom, I'm at my wits end trying to think of something really GREAT to write about, I come up with...

Your balls are showing.

Thank you, and goodnight.


  1. Congrats on the first blog post - well-fucking-done!

    And speaking of the best movies of our generation, I am reminded of Kurt Cobain....the spokesperson of our generation.

    And speaking of a "spokesperson," I am reminded of "spokesmodels." And why the fuck are they called sPOKESmodels anyway??

    And SPOKE makes me think of POKE and there goes an entirely new can of worms that I'm just not ready to get into right now. Srsly.

  2. This also reminds me to give a giant shout out to Kirk Gerdes, for without that guy and his dry sense, I never would have realized that my own sense was not, in fact, dry....and thus I would not have coined the term "wet & sloppy sense of humor."

    SO......WERD, Kirk!