Tell All Tuesday!

So by now you all know that I turned the Dirty Thirty last week. In this week's edition of Tell All Tuesday, I would now like to share with you some of the highlights of the weekend (minus the drama - AKA totalled car, $200 tab, unnecessary fight):

"You'll always be my sexual chocolate....I mean, asexual vanilla."

"This lipgloss kinda burns. It's like it hurts but feels good at the same time."
"Oh, you mean like anal sex?"

"Ash, can you move the pitcher from the corner of the table."
"Bobby, can you please move your gay ass from the corner of the table."

"I'll take the meat lovers."
"Will that be bone IN?"

"Are these made of glass? Or plastic?"
"It's glastic."

"I like your matching sweater & beanie....do you shop at Baby Gap?"

"All this music totally reminds me of..." "8th grade!! I know!!" "I was going to say my senior year......"

"I love how there was a life sized old man that said 'please do not touch' and you automatically walked in the door and reached out to touch it." <--Actually, I went to shake his hand.

"oh... oh no... this is bad..." from inside the bathroom stall. (Bloody nose fiasco)

We couldn't stay inside the restaurant without cackling, so we sat outside in the foyer and I read Melissa a child's story... WHILE people were walking in and out!

I went ahead and fixed my own drink when our bartender was MIA.

Came home with a giant bag full of fance dinner napkins from the bar....found out later that our waitress gave that to us in case anyone needed to puke on the drive home.

Srsly....good times!

Actual photos coming soon!!!